When I cooked for you, you said I was way too sweet
When I suggested a book to you, you said I was way too deep
When I let you win a game, you said I played too weak
When I took you to a movie, you went straight to sleep..
When I greeted you with flowers, you said I was lame
When I walked you to your place, you said I was tame
When I treated you polite, you said, "Well, Drew's real nice.."
When I wrote you a letter, you said, "Who still writes?.."
When I prayed with you, you said I was too spiritual
When I called you everyday, you said I was too predictable
When I gave you what you wanted, you called me a sucker
When I told you that I loved you, you told me I was "like your
brother"..
When I made you a gift instead of buying one, you said I was cheap
When I straightened your room while you were gone, you called me a
neat freak
When I didn't wild out when I saw you talking to another dude,
you said I was too laidback for you
And when I didn't try to have sex the first time you came over,
you thought I must not be physically attracted to you..
When I shed tears in front of you, you called me a boo-hoo
When I didn't curse around you, you called me a goody-two-shoes
And when I said I thought the world of you, you said,
"I just don't think of you like that..
..oh, there's my other line; let me call you right back.."
So I suppose the ideal brother for you is:
An adventurously rude
Contemptuously crude
Politely mean
Excitably obscene
Sexually uncontrollable
Hardly holdable
Abruptly abusive
FUCKING LOSER
Who's too hardcore to cook
To dumb to read a book
Too "masculine" to cry
Too headstrong to apologize
Too busy "keeping it real" to be honest
Too unreliable to keep a promise
And too much of a villain
To give a fuck about your feelings..
I guess
There's just
No accounting
FOR TASTE..
© 2002, Drew Anderson, all rights reserved.