I go from table to table, from blackboard to board
Tell my students, "Stop cheating, take the score that's yours
If it's French class, parlez votre oral report
The word is 'hor d'oeurves', stop saying 'whores divorce'"
I'm a lecture preparer and disciplinarian
High school teacher by the name of Mr. Anderson
After taking a stab at this academic assassin bit
I'm ready for happy hour or a pack of aspirin
What if your high school teacher dressed like you
Talked mess like you, just like you
You're chemical-minded, you've been blinded
To keep your attention I'm tryyyyyy-in
Byyyy-ron, be quiiiiii-et
Do you know what nine times niiiiine is?
All riiiiiight, then
Get to wriiiiii-tin'
'Cause that's your homework assiiiiiiign-ment
Byyyy-ron, Byyyy-ron
Do you know what the square root of piiiiii is?
If not, then fiiiiiind it
'Cause that's your homework assiiiiiiign-ment
I give my homework assignments over Neptunes beats
If I didn't, they'd probably hit the refuse heap
'Cause my students live on MTV and BET
So they could give a damn about WEB
I gotta dig through the mental tomfoolery
Of students with visions of lots of jewelry and chicks with hot
patooties
The dudes come to school with breath smelling like breweries
The girls think it's cool to be calling me Drew to fool with me
That's "Mr. Drew" to you; don't think it's cool to break the
rules
Just because you saw me and Jay Ross on MHZ2
You ain't even in my age group, so don't play cute
Open your book to page 82, "The Taming of the Shrew"..
Chriiiiis-ten, stop triiiiii-pin'
Or you're gonna end up in deteeeennnn-tion
Liiiiis-ten, pay atteeeeen-tion
Do your work and stop gettin' fliiipp-ant
Chriiiis-ten, Chriiis-ten
Open up to page fifty-siiiix, slim
You missed the field trip
'Cause you didn't bring your permission slip
Principals' got a problem with the way I teach
They find some of the things that I say obscene
Because the slang of my students is the slang I speak
Instead of saying, "Know what I mean?", I say, "Nah-mean?"
Girls and boys, y'all came to party
But I came to teach, so listen to me
And if you's a heckler or a disrespecter
I'm an ass-out-my-classroom-kicker and chin-checker
My class about business, never been about games
You come through trippin', I'll be dishing out pain
This ain't a hair salon, stop twistin' thou braids
You EARN yo' grade, I don't be GIVIN' out A's!
Scholar back, youngin, don't trip, don't clown
You should have read the book, so put the Cliff's Notes down
My friends say, "If you're trying to make a buck, why teach?"
I say, "You'll just have to ask the knuckleheads I've REACHED."
I'm teeeeeaaachin'
I'm teeeeeaaachin'
Until three o'clock Friday eeeeeevenin'
Please belieeeeve it
I'm teeeeeaaachin'
And you know I can't wait for the weeeeeek-end
Teeeeeaachin'
I'm teeeeachin'
Pay attention when the teacher's speeeeeakin'
Please belieeeve it
I'm teachin'
Until three o'clock Friday evenin'...
© 2002, Drew Anderson, all rights reserved.